Sunday, November 1, 2009

Let It Ends Now...

Thinking of HIM, i have not really made a proper introduction about him. As you can see, i refer him as HIM because i don’t know him. I don’t know his name or whatsoever. What i know about him are: I think he is SAM student; I know it from his subject only. I think he swims; because his has lean body and he joins some diving & saving club in my uni. I think he is from Sabah; because he wears a shirt representing a state with a BIG “SABAH” written on it. Those are the things that i guess about him not really sure. But, one thing for sure is he stays the same block as i am and his room number is H3-52. So let me call him H52.

So how i meet him? The first time i notice and talked to him is when last semester when i washing my cloths at the basin. I was using the two basins. Then he came. I apologized because i used the two basins. I apologize because i paiseh mah. I one person used both basins, greedy me. Haha..

I was polite so did him. H52 replied: never mind in Mandarin. That’s it. That was the few words i spoke to him. Ever since then, i never talk to him at all. Maybe i should pretend blur after he said never mind; pretending i don’t know Chinese. That will start up the conversation mah. Haha.. I was attracted by him due to his politeness. Can’t believe i met such a polite guy in my hostel. Not to say that all the residents at my hostel are rude people. Simply attracted to him; attracted to his sweet voice and ”se man” appearance.

After this incident, i started to notice about him. Why wouldn’t i? The way he walks is so sissy to me. That’s why i came up the idea of him being “different”. So he can easily distinguished from the crowd.

And i don’t know why wherever i go i will see him. From that time onwards, i had the thought of we are so “you yuan” or destined. Really i do not know why this is happening? I will just meet him anywhere i go. I can even sees him for straight one whole week (excluding weekends). If you say i meet him because he and i are from the same block so meeting him is inevitable, i disagree. Every time (ok la most of the time) i saw him was outside from the block. Sometimes i met him at the block only. Is it strange that i saw him every day but i didn’t see other of my hostel mates every day? I did saw my neighbours but not on daily basis. Can’t blame me for saying we are so-call destined to be together.

That’s the time i started to have thoughts about him. Daydreaming about him. But not sure i am falling for him.

The above story happens on semester 1. When comes to semester 2, things go upside-down. He moved out from the hostel. The semester 2 resumed. The first day i went back to my hostel i still thought he was there. After a few days i saw another guy coming out from that very room!! That mean he moved out from the room.

I was devastated (exaggerating only). I started to blame myself. I must had been too obvious that i was eyeing on H52 and scared him off. The first few week of semester 2 was a suffering for me. I was thinking of him too much.

However, after some gruesome weeks, i got through the whole process. Just that occasionally i will think of him.

So he left me, alone here. He went to other block of hostel. He took everything away except leaving this broken shirt rack. It was left abandon because the new resident didn’t use it and left it at the pantry.

The broken shirt rack...

Last Thursday was my last day of semester 2. Blame whoever made this, i saw H52 on my very last day. I was shocked to see him as before this, i didn’t see him for weeks. He was wearing a spectacular. He really looks cute and yeng in that loh. Normally he put on contact but sometimes he will wear glasses.

I wasn’t sure if it was him at first. But after seeing him carrying books in his usual pose and a da bao, i 100% know that’s him. He saw me too but not sure he will know me anymore as we are not hostel mate.

It was like those scenes in TVB drama. I came down stair from one side and he came up on the other side. And our eyes met at each other. We were exactly opposite to each other. Worst still a friend of mine was beside me. I am not sure if he saw me acted differently after seeing H52? Hopefully not. I met him on my last semester and also his last day at nilai.

His SAM course will be finished by end of this year. But i am not sure. I guess this should be his last semester for SAM. Maybe this is the last time we meet each other and will not meet each other in the future anymore. This will terminate our so-call destined-to-be-together.

I will miss him, nevertheless. At the same time i will regret because i have so many things to ask him. I want to ask him whether he is from Sabah or not? I want to ask him whether he is SAM student or not? I want to ask him whether he was a representer of any state in swimming or not? I want to ask him how he got that lean body and almost visible six-packs?I want to ask him whether he notice me or not?

And the ultimate question, i want to ask him whether you are GAY or not?

I guess will not know the answers for my whole life...

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