I wasn’t really sneaking people’s room. That room was left unlocked and i just open the door. I guess the previous resident didn’t lock the door.
Went to enrol in noon today.
Yesterday i was so worried about what timetable i’m going to get. Before went to enrol, i went to Guan Yin Ting to pray since today is full moon. At prayed to Kuan Yin that my studies in next semester is smoothly and beg for advice to how to solve all my problems in my heart.
I reached inti. Waited for my turn. Oh yar i even saw my ex classmate waiting there. Filling some blanks, and got the timetable. Gosh, the Monday timetable is superb. Then next i see Tuesday. Lab again and some management subject. Ok, i made my mind. I will resume class 2 days later. I not going the first 2 days.
In that case, i only need to survive for 2 nights instead of 4! Relieve, i was. Thank god the timetable is my liking. Oh wait, what?! Friday’s class ends at 6 pm? Oh no!! Nevermind i will wash my classmates’ mind and ask them to bring forward to afternoon class given that lecturer is free.
After that i collected my keys and went to my room. Dirty and dusty!! My dad was good enough to sweep the floor for me. He even wanted to mop the floor but i stopped him. I’ll mop when i go back there next week.
Suddenly my curiosity strikes me. Since i know my neighbour (no. 49) not staying that room anymore, i open the door of his room, out of sudden. The door wasn’t lock. I look look lah as i always want to spy on others room.
My sixth sense told me to try room no. 52 which is HIS room. The door was unlocked. Finally i got to see the room which Anthony Sandstorm stayed before even though it was past. Anyway, at least i entered his previous room. And his room has no different with mine. Just that the room was occupied by HIM. So, i wasn’t sneaking or spying or whatsoever!!
Later in the evening i went JJ alone. Quite funny shopping grocery alone. Bought a lot of things and later before leaving, i bought iced latté! Finally got my cup of it.
After all, today is quite ok-ok day. Maybe because i went to pray. I have been skipping my time to go to temple. Maybe it’s the reason why i worried this and that lately...
Based on what Lillian Too predicted for me on 2008 and 2009, i should be having ok-ok year. If not, should be fabulous year. My zodiac is snake and according to Flying Star Feng Shui, #9 and #8 fly to my snake sector which is SE3. So, i should be having good good years. So yeah, 2008 is a bit better compare to 2007 (2007 is a disastrous to me) and 2009 is a good year. 2008 is like recuperating year after deadly 2007 - nothing very good happen and nothing very bad happen. 2009 is enjoying the good year and i have to say, it is good one after 2006. I can tell you i don’t have a good time after 2006, which i was form 5. So that means, i don’t have good times after secondary school. I was and still stuck in 2006. No matter how bad years in secondary school, i will still be laughing around and playing around cause i got really great friends at that time.
I am going to write about what i had encountered from 2008 to now, 2009. One word to sum up 2008/2009 is exploration.
Yes, i am like a sailor or like Laksamana Cheng Ho in old days exploring what’s the real me. What’s the essence of me. And fortunately the product i got is fruitful. I explored a lot and i gain a lot too. Thankfully i am strong enough to accept myself wholly and gracefully. And i am proud of myself and not fearing what i have explored.
What i mentioned above is my sexual orientation. Thinking back, i was gay for long long years already; just that i don’t it is gay thingy. As far as i can remember, i surf gay porn website in my lower secondary school or so. The only thing i can think of is incest gay porn website – adult men f***king young boys. At that time i was shock and couldn’t believe there is such thing on earth! Then somehow i moved to Sean Cody website and i am still downloading their movies or rather porn.
It sounds so funny after being gay for almost 5 years, i just realised i’m gay last year? Haha. Well, i didn’t know or think i am gay back then. Maybe i’m just ignorant or just don’t have any idea of gay. After reading gay first ever gay blog in October 2008, i found out myself is gay. By the way that first ever blog is Robb’s. Oh shit, whatever i did back then was gay!! Fine. I didn’t bang my head to the wall or kneeing down crying asking God why am i gay?? So dramatic. I accept the fact or maybe i accepted the fact long time ago.
Seriously i didn’t shock on what happen on me. Instead, i enjoyed. I enjoyed looking those sexy, cute male models. Got a hard on down there. Maybe i already accepted myself gay. Just that i didn’t think about that. Not forgetting gay porn blog. Loses my seeds after knowing that website.
The reason that makes me thought i’m gay is after reading those gay blog. I was gayer than when in secondary school. After reading those blogs, i realise the same thing happen on those gay blogger do happen on me making me a gay like them. Some of them are openly gay while some just in the closet.
When i read their lovey-dovey stories about the blogger and his bf, i feel warmed and touched. Somehow or rather gay couples are more sweet or romantic than straight couples. I would hug my pillow while reading their stories. Occasionally i would image i having bf and the imagination gone wild and wilder till now i never image myself with gf. I used to imagine how nice i having gf. But now i never imagine or even thought of gf! It’s like pain in my ass thinking gf.
I love reading gay blog actually. I hardly find straight blog la. I wonder if the straight blogger would write better than the gays? The blogs that i love most is nase’s blog. He writes beautifully and the content always gives me a smile on my face. I love it!
From reading blogs, i got to know the blogger’s life as a gay. It’s strange that they are leading to a normal and healthy live though they are not normal as other homophobic labelled them. Yah you may say: so gross seeing 2 guys having anal sex. But hey, you think straight guy don’t f**k girl in her asshole? No! There are porn showing straight guy having anal sex with girl. So now don’t you think it’s gross? That girl will also having the feeling to shit like the gays. Is it like slapping yourself? You say gay anal sex gross, but you didn’t think straight guy anal sex girl gross? You enjoy it!
So now i know there are some people like me living happily out there. Gosh, you that feeling of founding someone has the same happening like you is so delight. So i am normal. Yeah!!
In 2009, which i moved to university, i attracted or fell in love with someone looks like Anthony Sandstorm. Hardly fell in love la. Just that i see him, he see me that kind of thing lo. How nice he’s my classmates. How nice in next semester i got a new classmate is bent. Plus, if he is single and ready to mingle and we are fond to each other... stop dreaming scotty!! Besides him, i don’t see any other gay or possible candidates in my uni. So straight uni.
With one year plus of reading gay blog anonymously, i did leave some footprint on their blog by commenting. I will not reveal myself until i’m ready for it. Indeed, 2008/2009 is an adventurous and exploration year for me. I got to know myself better than never. I anticipating 2010 cause my instinct tells me it’s going to be a good year though aunt Lillian might want to object it.
p.s. there is still a small chance i might turn straight cause i am not fully 100% gay as i don’t have sex with guys nor gay friends. But i want a bf more that gf. That makes me gay kua....
With less than 7 days to 4th of January, i am worrying!!! Probably the most worried thing in 2010. My class will resume on next week Monday. Why am i worrying? There are a few reasons why i am worrying.
After not touching any books for like 2 months, i quite worried if my brain still can work as usual. On top of that, the next semester’s subjects would be so so hard!!! All these thanks to my friend, kc. He has been telling me how hard is this subject and so many people fail because of these two subjects – Genetic and Biochemistry. I am so worried if i could cope with these subjects. Hopefully i can make it loh...
I realised i don’t like those days over there. I hate there very much. The space is so limited and the room is so small. I cannot surf the net with high speed connection. I cannot surf porn blog cause maybe get caught. Worse still it’s GAY porn blog. I cannot see and play with me cute nephew. I cannot slack around doing not doing my chore at room. I cannot rely on my parents and other people to do things for me.
Next, the main reason why i am worrying is that i will be alone eating dinner. Since kc already finish studying, left only me and sow and yhuoi. I always eat dinner with them. Often time they would suddenly tell me they won’t join us for dinner last minute. Sometimes i waited them so long and then suddenly tell me not eating dinner with me. I waited so long till very hungry then tell me no dinner? At that time most of the stalls already sold finish their food!!! Haiz.... Worse still, now inti doesn’t allow us to use polystyrene food container. That means i cannot tapao la!! If cannot tapoa, then eat at dining hall alone? so paiseh if meet my classmate.
Besides that, i am alright going back there studying. I hope got somebody to eat dinner with me every time not worrying he would suddenly didn’t join me. i hope also i would be better friends with my classmates. I hope we could get closer. I hope i would not be inferior when we get closer. I hope i am more open and join them. I hope all my hopes above can realise.
I am really, really worried right now. Hopefully there is miracle come true....
p.s. i somehow keep thinking 2010 would be better year in my head. Hopefully it's a good year to me and other people...
Christmas came and gone. And i didn’t wish in this blog, instead in twitter. Yup, i have a twitter account before Xmas as it was under my to-do list.
How i celebrated or undergo the Xmas? Since my brother and sisters attended the same wedding banquet, left only me and my dad. At first i thought i will be dead bored at home while others having great meals but, i didn’t feel that way in the end. Not to say i enjoyed Xmas night, but at least i was not dead bored at home lah.
Usually i will be occupied during Xmas night because my third aunty would throw a party and we had dinner and turkey!! But this year she didn’t throw a party. Then, my aunt from my mother side, called us to join their family for steamboat dinner which i turned down. Why? They are having FAMILY dinner!!! Why want to spoil their family dinner. Actually i paiseh la...
Back to the topic.
To start off the day, i cooked myself pasta with scrambled egg. This time’s spaghetti was nicer than the last time i cooked. This time i cooked the spaghetti with the sauce itself. So the spaghetti was much tastier than last time which was tasteless. Then the scrambled eggs came in. Voila, a hearty brunch.
In the afternoon, kuku dropped by my house and guess what, she bought me a t-shrit. Yeah!! On the Xmas eve, my sis bought me a t-shirt from Soda. Yeah, i got two Xmas present this year!! The t-shirt from my aunt was really unexpected. It was Polo collared t-shirt. It must be the original polo t-shirt as my aunt always buy ori and expensive stuffs!! The blue colour is nice and very special with the green linings. Oh yar i love it very much and it fits me!! At last there is something i can wear those shirts from my aunt.
At night, when my brother and mother went for their wedding banquet, my dad and i had our dinner at one of those hawker stalls in Bukit Tinggi. It was really out-of-all-odds!! It was my first time eating at those hawker stalls. We ordered a plate of ikan bakar and it was so big plate that we had to force ourselves to finish it!! So, we had our Xmas dinner at the hawker stalls. However, I wanted to go to Aeon for a more decent meal. Anyway, we enjoy the dinner and went to Giant for jalan-jalan.
That’s it. How i celebrated Xmas 2009. Hopefully the next year or following year i will have someone special to celebrate with me lah. You know Xmas is a very lonely festival without any loved one. In this year, my loved one would be my father. I am not sure i will celebrate Xmas with him and family anymore in the next few years as i (finger crossed) would be studying abroad at Aussie...
p.s. all in all, this year’s Xmas was ok-ok. wait, next week is New Year, no party again. Going to genting again? Not again?
Came back from a chaotic wedding. You heard it right. CHAOTIC.
Why must every wedding to be chaotic? The reason for a chaotic wedding would definitely be the arrangement of the seats. I can safely say most of the wedding i attended has almost the same thing. Why can’t the host arrange the seat properly in order to avoid any chaotic events?
The dinner i attended just now was actually not chaotic as i said. I am exaggerating only....
Besides the chaotic, i got the chance to ogle at guys or my relatives, long relatives. I was enjoying the whole night because the number of tables are just 11 tables. That means we have more space to run around and mingle though the space was limited. Most of the guests are all my relatives. Oh, the host is my granduncle from Singapore. Her daughter married last week, i guess, at Singapore. So, her father invite us (from granduncle and grandaunt side).
The guy i ogled was my granduncle’s youngest son. So salah to ogle at your own relative. One word to describe him, SMART. I always like guys on formal attire. He’s so damn smart!!! Besides him, there was one angmo relative of my grandaunt side. Caucasian mix with Chinese = genetic jackpot. A perfect mix of gene.
Oh wait, did i mention that groom was gorgeous? hahaha... So salah!!! He's very straight too...
The best of all was the video played to show us the bride and groom’s actual day of their wedding. They were together for 11 years before tying the knot. I like the video made and it was professionally taken. It was normal video clips showing their wedding day, but the way they filming was good and professional. This is the first time i watched this kind of video on wedding dinner. Normally a slide show of the wedding day is shown during the dinner.
All in all, the dinner was as chaotic as i said. It was actually some misconnecting and miscounting. The food served was great especially the sharkfin soup.
p.s. the joke my day.. my father asked who’s picture on my phone’s screen? It was Beyonce’s cover picture for her album. My dad thought is my gf’s face and he said should put my gf’s face over there. Hahahahahahaha... i wonder what’s his reaction if the picture will be my bf instead. Hahahhahahaha....
